Author: Anonymous Page 150

Blind Date: When you expect to meet a vision and he turns out to be a sight.

Dating Definitions

Wink: A whether signal.

Definitions

“I have a delivery of shoes for the prisoners,” said Tom consolingly.

Tom Swifties

There are two theories to arguing with women… neither one works.

People Women

That was the last hump on the camel.

Mixed metaphors

Banker: A pawn broker with a manicure.

Definitions Occupations Work

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Appearance Body Fat

Bowling Alley: A quiet place of amusement where you can hear a pin drop.

Activities Definitions

“I make the armor out of chain links,” Tom replied by mail.

Tom Swifties

“I work at a bank,” said Tom tellingly.

Tom Swifties

Communist: One who has yearnings for equal division of unequal earnings.

Definitions

 “My parents are called Billy and Nanny,” Tom kidded.

Tom Swifties

He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.

Beliefs Opinion

I’m just talking out loud.

Mixed metaphors

Epitaph: A monumental lie.

Death Definitions

We're cooking on all four cylinders.

Mixed metaphors

“I have lost all my Hungarian sheet music,” said Tom listlessly.

Tom Swifties

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Gigolo: A fee-male.

Definitions Wordplay

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

“I manufacture tabletops for shops,” said Tom counterproductively.

Tom Swifties