Author: Anonymous Page 153

When sleeping dogs fly.

Mixed metaphors

We should continue to ride the horse that brings in the gravy.

Mixed metaphors

It’s the best thing since sliced Spam.

Mixed metaphors

The scripts needs to be kept in sink.

Malaprops

Automation has opened up a whole new field of unemployment.

Situations Work

Never judge a book by its title.

Mixed metaphors

Rejoinder: Married his ex.

Definitions Marriage

Acute Alcoholic: An attractive drunk.

Alcohol Definitions

“Monaural and quadraphonic systems are exceptions,” said Tom stereotypically.

Tom Swifties

He was engaged to a contortionist, but she broke it off.

Communication Relationships Wordplay

Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary!

People

America: A land where a citizen will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, and won’t cross the street to vote in a national election.

America Definitions Places

You’ve buttered your bread, now lie in it.

Mixed metaphors

Voting: A process of standing in line for the opportunity to help decide which party will spend your money.

Definitions

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'whose?'

Money Wealth Work

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they’re probably broke.

Emotions Love Money

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

Glutton: A person who takes the piece of French pastry you wanted.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink People

“We had trouble with the propulsion systems for those moon flights”, said the NASA engineer apologetically.

Tom Swifties

Hula Dancer: A shake in the grass.

Definitions

Television: A watching machine.

Entertainment Television