Author: Anonymous Page 28

There's more than one way to spin a rat.

Malaprops

Nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers

Characteristics Emotions Expressions

That’s a kettle of fish of a different color.

Mixed metaphors

Theory: A hunch with a college education.

Definitions

Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.

Activities Honesty Lies

Deficit: What you have when you don’t have as much as if you had nothing.

Definitions Money

Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him; the smart golfer throws his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.

Golf Sports

Noise: Earitation.

Definitions

Time: The arbitrary division of eternity.

Definitions Time

Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

Beliefs

Worst case Ontario.

Malaprops

Manners: Noises you don’t make when eating soup.

Definitions

He is so short… he poses for trophies.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

I feel like death eatin’ a soda cracker.

Expressions Health

Underwear: An article of clothing which, when kept clean, ensures the wearer will never have an accident.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

“The sun is rising,” Tom mourned.

Tom Swifties

Psychology: The science that tells you what you already know in words you can’t understand.

Definitions Science/Weather

I never liked him and I always will.

Insults

Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances that lack nutritional content.

Definitions Food/Drink

Raining like a sieve

Mixed metaphors

Life’s all about ass – covering it, kicking it, kissing it or trying to get it.

Life