Author: Anonymous Page 46

“There’s nothing wrong with demons,” Tom said implicitly.

Tom Swifties

Hospitality: The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Definitions

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

Bachelor: One who treats all women as sequels.

Definitions

He's trying to gain a foothold in the public eye.

Mixed metaphors

You're pulling my leg over my eyes.

Mixed metaphors

Toothache: The pain that drives you to extraction.

Definitions Health

One hundred degrees better

Mixed metaphors

She grabbed the bull by the horns, and ran with it.

Mixed metaphors

Show me an archaeologist, and I’ll show you a man who practices skull drudgery.

Science/Weather Wordplay

Damp weather is very hard on the sciences.

Malaprops

e-mail: An advertising medium which is misused for personal messaging.

Communication Definitions

The worst part about politics is that you're always right and no one ever knows it

Government Politics

Quartet: Four men, all of whom think that the other three can’t sing.

Definitions Entertainment

We could stand here and talk until the cows turn blue.

Mixed metaphors

Hanging: A suspended sentence.

Definitions

They held a candlelight visual.

Malaprops

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Communication Family Language Mothers

Cold War: Hot peace.

Conflict Definitions

Youth: A good substitute for experience.

Age Definitions Young

Judge: A lawyer who once knew a politician.

Definitions Government Law