Author: Anonymous Page 83

Dandruff: Chips off the old block.

Definitions

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

Communication Language Money

When it comes to giving—some people stop at nothing.

Characteristics Money People

“I haven’t had any tooth decay yet,” said Tom precariously.

Tom Swifties

Kleptomaniac: A thief with breeding.

Definitions

Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Science/Weather

Friend: A person who listens attentively while you say nothing.

Definitions Friends People

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” said Tom rationally.

Tom Swifties

Insomnia: contagious disease often transmitted from babies to parents.

Activities Definitions Sleep

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

Misers make wonderful ancestors.

Frugal Money

Grasping at the straw that broke the camel's back

Mixed metaphors

The reason they call if ‘golf’ is that all the other four-letter words were used up.

Golf Sports

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.

Situations Time

Dirt: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

Diet: Something to take the starch out of you.

Definitions Eating Food/Drink

Surely we'll dig up the past, in order to bury the hatchet.

Mixed metaphors

Bachelor: A man who has faults he doesn’t know about.

Definitions Men People

I’d like to be sitting in his shoes.

Mixed metaphors

You can’t go in there cold turkey with egg on your face.

Mixed metaphors