Author: Anonymous Page 9

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

People

Centimeter: A parking meter that takes pennies.

Definitions

Chicken guarding the hen house

Mixed metaphors

Diplomat: A fellow who prefers ironing out his differences to flattening his opponent.

Definitions

It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire.

Mixed metaphors

“He’s a boring chap,” said Tom indulgently.

Tom Swifties

Discretion: When you are sure you are right and then ask your wife.

Definitions

Wig: A convertible top.

Appearance Definitions Hair

Executive: A man who talks to visitors so the other employees can get their work done.

Definitions Occupations Work

Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that hey cannot separately plunder a third.

Definitions Politics

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

Frugal Money

The whole ball of worms

Malaprops

The president will put the ship of state on its feet.

Mixed metaphors

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

I can read him like the back of my book.

Mixed metaphors

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Appearance Clothing

“I decided which car to purchase after looking at the pictures,” said Tom autobiographically.

Tom Swifties

“There must be a power cut,” said Tom delightedly.

Tom Swifties

“I can see through the window,” said Tom stiltedly.

Tom Swifties

Button your seat belts.

Mixed metaphors

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat