Author: Anonymous Page 9

Marriage: A  relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.

Definitions Marriage

“That city will never be rebuilt,” the prophets babble on.


Tom Swifties

“Who’s your favorite operatic tenor?” Tom asked placidly.

Tom Swifties

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

Education: Forcing abstract ideas into concrete heads.

Definitions Ideas Intelligence

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Computers Definitions Things

Budget: A family quarrel.

Definitions

Education: What you have left over when you subtract what you’ve forgotten from what you learned.

Definitions Education

Like socks on a rooster

Expressions

I keep trying to lose weight… but it keeps finding me.

Appearance Body Fat

Acorn: An oak in a nutshell.

Definitions

Worst case Ontario.

Malaprops

“I ain’t afraid of those white men,” said Cochise bravely.

Tom Swifties

Inside every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

Books Communication

“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.

Tom Swifties

Budget: An orderly system of living beyond your means.

Definitions

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

Well, that’s water under the dam.

Mixed metaphors

Hypochondriac: One who enjoys poor health, then complains of feeling better.

Definitions Health

I could hear footprints.

Malaprops

I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.

Activities Characteristics Exercise