Author: Alfred E. Neuman Page 4

Family reunions are when relatives gather from all over to be reminded why they scattered in the first place.

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Activities Family Relationships

It’s not the work that keeps most people from doing volunteer work, it’s the pay!

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Work

What, Me Worry?

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Characteristics

Most minds are like concrete… all mixed up and permanently set!

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Intelligence People

Crime does not pay… as well as politics.

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Conflict Crime Government Politics

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course.

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Golf Sports

Most bosses never lift a finger at work, unless it’s to point out something you did wrong.

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Mistakes Work

The reason most people talk to themselves is because they’re often the only ones who will listen.

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Communication Speech

Today it takes more brains and effort to make out the income tax form than it does to make the income.

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Government Intelligence Money Taxes

Today, too many workers spend their time trying to make their weekends meet.

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Money Time

If we really learned from our past mistakes, most of us would never get out of bed in the morning.

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Education History Learning Mistakes

If you want to be on the upper crust, you need to have a lot of dough.

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Money

How come we choose from just two people for president, and fifty for Miss America?

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Government

An argument is two people trying to get in the last word first.

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Communication Conversation Speech

Nepotism is when the corporate ladder is built from the lumber of your family tree.

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Family Relationships

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

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Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

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Situations Things

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

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Appearance Body Fat

The psychiatrist’s office is where you say what you think and be told what you mean.

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Communication Doctors Health

The U.N. is a place where governments opposed to free speech demand to be heard!

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Communication Speech

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Situations Things