Author: Mark Twain Page 4

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance

The penis mightier than the sword.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication Wordplay

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Fools Government Intelligence World

Once you've put one of his books down, you simply can't pick it up again.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Reviews/Criticism

Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Characteristics Communication Reading/Writing Truth

Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs

A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; truth isn’t.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Facts Honesty Truth

The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Intelligence Law Opinion

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Intelligence Life Stupidity Success

Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake; he wanted it because it was forbidden.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

Clothes make the man; naked people have little or no influence on society.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Appearance Clothing

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Money

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Conflict Fights

It’s good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Golf Sports

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Death Life

The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Religion

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Honesty Life Situations

Just the omission of Jane Austen’s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn’t a book in it.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Books Communication Reviews/Criticism