Subject: Marriage (Page 10)

Holy deadlock.

(1890 – 1971) English humorist, novelist & playwright
Marriage Wordplay

Marriage is a triumph of habit over hate.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Emotions Marriage

I went to look for a used car; I found my wife's dress in the back seat!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Autos Marriage Things Wives

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage

‘I am’ is the shortest sentence in the English Language; ‘I do’ is the longest.

Marriage

I think we explored the further reaches of “for better or for worse.”

(1944 – ) British scientist
Marriage

Your wife's stored possessions will always be on top of your stored possessions.

Marriage Murphy’s Laws Things Wives

She should get a divorce and settle down.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
Divorce Insults Marriage

Half a psychiatrist's patients see him because they are married – the other half because they're not.

(1905 –1998) American author
Doctors Health Marriage

You can calculate Zsa Zsa Gabor's age by the rings on her fingers.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Divorce Insults Marriage

I never mind my wife having the last word; in fact, I’m delighted when she gets to it.

(1920 – 2000) American actor
Communication Marriage Speech Wives

You have to remember: the wife has been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces… sometimes the opposite.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Marriage Wives

Wife: A former sweetheart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Wives

Hard work is damn near as overrated as monogamy.

(1893 – 1935) U.S. governor & senator (Louisiana)
Marriage Work

Georgie got engaged the way other people got haircuts; it was just something he did every few months whether he needed to or not.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Marriage

Lately, I think that my wife has been fooling around because our parrot keeps saying, ‘Give it to me hard and fast before my husband, Jon Katz, comes home; and, yes, I’d love a cracker.’

(1946 – ) American comedian, actor & voice actor
Marriage Wives

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do… but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did.

Husbands Marriage Wives

I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook… after dinner, I don't brush my teeth, I count them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink Marriage Wives

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Marriage Wives

My wife met me at the door the other night in a sexy negligee; unfortunately, she was just coming home.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Sex Wives

The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Husbands Marriage Wives