Subject: Time (Page 5)

The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Age Death Murphy’s Laws Time Young

In no time, it will be a forgotten memory.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Memory Misspokements Speech Time

The length of any meeting is inversely proportional to the length of the agenda for that meeting.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Styrofoam is biodegradable; you people are just impatient.

American comedian & writer
Science/Weather Time

I recommend you to take care of the minutes, for the hours will take care of themselves.

Lord Chesterfield (1694 – 1773) British statesman
Life Time

When there are sufficient funds in the checking account, checks take two weeks to clear; when there are insufficient funds, checks clear overnight.

Money Murphy’s Laws Time

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

Time

Retirement: The time of life when you stop lying about your age and start lying about the house.

Definitions Time Work

Experience is what makes you pause briefly before going ahead and making the same mistake.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Mistakes Problems Situations Time

I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Sex Time

I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time,” so I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Eating Food/Drink History Time

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Food/Drink Time

A meeting lasts at least 1 1/2 hours, however short the agenda.

Murphy’s Laws Time

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving you don’t actually live longer; it just seems longer.

(1924 – 2009) English broadcaster, writer, politician & chef
Activities Age Health Time

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Time Women

The amount of sleep needed by the average person is five minutes more.

typographer
Activities Situations Sleep Time

Norm: I wish I had time for a hobby.
Cliff: Norm, you’ve got time to make your own coal.

(1947 – ) American actor & entrepreneur
Time TV/Movie Quotes

Historians: People who won’t let bygones be bygones.

Definitions History Occupations Time

1. Important mail arrives late. 2. Junk mail arrives the day it was sent.

Murphy’s Laws Time

Eternity is the second ten minutes of aerobics.

Time