Subject: Time (Page 6)

An injured friend of his was going to receive back pay radioactively.

Malaprops Money Time

The English are not very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
England People Places Sports Time

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.

Murphy’s Laws Time

History repeats itself; historians repeat each other.

(1889 – 1944) English historian
History Occupations Time

Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

American business woman & magazine editor
History Time

There is never enough time, unless you’re serving it.

(1919 – 1990) publisher & author
Life Time

While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don’t keep and eye on can make an awful mess on your stove.

(1820 – 1897) Mormon missionary
Cooking Food/Drink Time

Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Money Time

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Communication Husbands Marriage Speech Time Wives

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Food/Drink Past Things Time

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Food/Drink Proverbs Science/Weather Time

Fish and visitors smell in three days.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Animals People Time

I used to do drugs; I still do, but I used to, too.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Activities Drugs Past

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task overwhelm me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Situations Time Work

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Past Time

Love is the only industry which can't operate on a five-day week.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Time Work

Why women don’t blink during foreplay… not enough time.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
People Sex Time Women

A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Things Time

Most people still believe in a hard day’s work, but they also believe it should be spread out over the course of a week or two.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Time Work

Flying from the U.S. to Tokyo takes approximately as long as law school.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities Places Time

People are still willing to do an honest day's work; the trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Money Time Work