Subject: Activities (Page 8)

Bridge is a friendly game invented by two married couples who disliked each other.

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist

“Belinda Carlisle sings, ‘We dream the same dream' … but I can’t believe that every night Belinda Carlisle has a wet dream about Wilma Flintstone.

(1964 – ) British comedian, novelist & television presenter

Presidents don’t do it to their wives; they do it to their country.

(1926 – ) film director, screenwriter, composer, comedian, actor & producer

I often take exercise; why only yesterday I had breakfast in bed.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

Look around the table; if you don’t see a sucker, get up, because you’re the sucker.

The only way to make up for being lost is to make record time while you are lost.

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress

Virginia has already spent more on plugging Shawn Moore for the Heisman Trophy than Thomas Jefferson spent getting elected president.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

If you start to clean your desk in the spare bedroom you will probably have to clean the garage to find what you need to finish cleaning the desk.

It's better to have loved and lost than do forty pounds of laundry a week.

(1904 – 1989) Spanish surrealist painter

Life is a game, the object of which is to discover the object of the game.

I'm on a wrong-way street!

That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

If you're too busy to go fishin', you're too busy.

(1908 – 2003) American actor & dancer

She took my son to Costco, bought 14 pounds of Oreos – and saved us money somehow.

American stand-up comedian

I hate when my foot falls asleep during the day because I know it will be up all night.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your parents you’re gay.

(1983 – ) American comedian & actor

It only hurt once… from beginning to end.

(1920 – 2004) American swimming coach

Kids… I like kids, but I couldn’t eat a whole one.