Subject: Age » Old (Page 10)

You know you're getting old when kids start to dress like you used to.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

Age Life Old

You know you're getting old when everything dries up or leaks.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Age Men Old People Young

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old

You're never too old to become younger.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Old

The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Age Old Sex

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Old

When you become senile, you won't know it.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Age Health Memory Old

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses… drinks right out of the bottle.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Age Food/Drink Old

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time… again.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Old

You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old Young

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Age Alcohol Murphy’s Laws Old

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Old Age: When you find yourself using one bend-over to pick up two things.

Age Definitions Old

You know how your friends are all morons, and they got the stories wrong all the time?… it’s the same here with the Bible.

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
Friends Intelligence Old People

The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.

Age Old

We thought it was a bad idea you guys got married, but we didn’t feel like we could say anything because it was open bar.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Friends Marriage Old People

When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.

Age Murphy’s Laws Old

Looking fifty is great – if you're sixty.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old