Subject: Age (Page 13)

Did you ever look in a mirror and wonder how your pantyhose got so wrinkled… and then remember you weren’t wearing any?

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Old

I am just turning forty and taking my time about it.

(1893 – 1971) American film actor & producer
Age

Robins: I've just written my 87th book.
Barbara Cartland: I've written 145.
Robins: Oh I see, one a year.

(1897 – 1985) British novelist
Age Insults Old

When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving… he said it was elevator practice.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Family Things Young

If you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory, like you've beat the night, but, if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Old Situations Young

Growing old’s like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed.

(1905 – 2000) English writer
Age Old

I said to my husband, ‘My boobs have gone, my stomach’s gone, say something nice about my legs;’ he said, ‘Blue goes with everything.’

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Age Appearance Old

Barometer: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Old Science/Weather

[My mother] had something like ‘time out;' it was called ‘knock out.'

American comedian
Age Relationships Young

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year, and I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Old Young

My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get… unless you’re a banana.

1922) American actress, comedian & television personality
Age Old TV/Movie Quotes

You’ll have to ask somebody older than me.

(1883 – 1983) American composer, lyricist & pianist
Age Old Sex

When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become president… now I'm beginning to believe it.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Age Government President Young

While you can only be young once, you can always be immature.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Age Young

I can’t tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

(1908 – 2002) comedian, radio & television actor
Age Old

Do not worry about avoiding temptation; as you grow older it will avoid you.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Age Old

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies, we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Family Fathers Old Young

Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life.

Age Life Old

Dinah [Shore] formed a foundation to locate missing senior citizens by putting their pictures on prune juice bottles.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Age Food/Drink Old People

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush the net.

(1881 – 1960) American columnist
Age

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young