Subject: Animals (Page 9)

All I know of birds to this date is that sparrows are the ones that are not pigeons.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
Animals

Otter Devastation

Animals Headlines

Culture is roughly anything we do and the monkeys don't.

Animals

As she lay there dozing next to me, one voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax… you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients, " but another kept reminding me, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."

Animals Doctors Health

That dog was so lazy he leaned against a fence to bark.

Animals Characteristics Dogs Expressions

Horses for Sale! Stallion 2 yrs. old for $500. Mayor 3 yrs. old for $1,000.

Animals Classifieds

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Animals Communication Language

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Animals Food/Drink

You may have a dog that won’t sit up, roll over or even cook breakfast, not because she’s too stupid to learn how but because she’s too smart to bother.

Animals Dogs

Last night he went on the paper four times… three of those times I was reading it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs

Caterpillar: An upholstered worm.

Animals Definitions

I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats

Animals Book Titles Cats

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Animals Dogs

No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Animals Communication Dogs Intelligence Speech Wisdom

The more one gets to know of men, the more one values dogs.

(1803 – 1885) French writer & journalist
Animals Dogs People

The measure of a bird dog's intelligence can be determined by the length of time it takes to resign yourself to his way of thinking.

Animals Dogs Intelligence Murphy’s Laws

F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What’s What

Animals Book Titles

When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

Animals Cats Murphy’s Laws Sleep

Horses just naturally have Mohawk haircuts.


Animals Appearance

Nature abhors a vacuum… but not as much as cats do.

Animals Cats

Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Animals Characteristics Proverbs