Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 22)

Reform: To gain or lose weight.

Appearance Body Definitions

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Appearance Body Golf Sports

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Fat Hockey

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

If someone told him to haul ass he'd have to make six trips.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

I don't think I'm good in bed; my husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Body Sex Situations

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Activities Body

No matter what I do, I cannot lose this 18 pounds… I mean I have tried everything short of diet and exercise.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Exercise Fat

Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

Appearance Body Death Eating Life Proverbs

There's one thing about baldness; it's neat.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Appearance Body

She was a large woman who seemed not so much dressed as upholstered.

(1860 – 1937) Scottish author, dramatist (creator of Peter Pan)
Appearance Body Clothing Insults

The older you get, the higher your underwear – get like rings on a tree; you're 80-90 years old – your breasts are inside them.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Age Appearance Body Clothing Old

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?


Appearance Body Fat Sports

How easy for those who do not bulge to not overindulge!

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink People

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Appearance Body Fat

My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.

professional football player
Appearance Body Football Health Sports

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Appearance Body People Self

I don’t want to lose weight; my tongue and my taste buds are the only friends I got.

American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat Friends People Young

Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady.

(1898 – 1981) American costume designer
Appearance Body Clothing Women

Girdle: The difference between fact and figure.

Appearance Body Clothing Definitions