Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 7)

I would say the world's in terrible shape, but I'm afraid the world would say, 'Look who's talking!'

(1943 – 1974) American singer (Mamas & Papas)
Appearance Body Fat People Places Self World

A quarter-ounce of chocolate = four pounds of fat.

Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Body Characteristics Situations Things

She was so ugly that when I bent down to pet her cat it turned out to be the hair on her legs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Hair Ugly

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said, "F**k that… I'll just get a tan instead.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Appearance Body Emotions Love

I don’t really like knees.

(1936 – 2008) French fashion designer
Appearance Body

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Dating Hair

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

My friend George is weird because he has false teeth, but he has braces on them.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Appearance Body People Women

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf.

Appearance Body Golf Murphy’s Laws Sports

Paunch: A bulging trunk.

Appearance Body Definitions

You always know when he's ready for sex, ’cause naked, he looked like one of them butterball turkeys with the little pop-up timer.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Fat People Sex

I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Appearance Body

We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is "knowing what your uterus looks like.”

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Appearance Body People Women

He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.

(1910 – 1997) American writer
Appearance Body Fat Insults

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Body Communication People Women Wordplay

An ounce of sequins can be worth a pound of home cooking.

(1946 – ) American magazine columnist, author, lecturer & playwright
Appearance Body Clothing Fat

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies – 'Aw, isn't that lovely.'

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Men People