Subject: Appearance » Body (Page 7)

My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding; I thought: Bloody hell, how long’’s the aisle going to be.

comedian
Appearance Body

Anatomy: Something that everyone has, but it looks better on a girl.

Appearance Body Definitions

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

I got the classic Italian male body; I got the ass of a 270-pound man and the chest of a small Romanian gymnast.

(1953 – ) American comedian & writer
Appearance Body

My mother-in-law had a pain beneath her left breast; turned out to be a trick knee.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Body Health Relationships

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Age Appearance Body Old

I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Body Fat Health

Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Appearance Body Fat Men People Sex Women

I’ve lost seven pounds this week… or, as my girlfriend calls it, ‘the baby’.

British comedian & emcee
Appearance Body

When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self Ugly

The best cure for hypochondria is to forget about your body and get interested in someone else's.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist
Appearance Body Health

Newman: I’m a little offended, Jerry.

Jerry: You’re not a little anything, Newman.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Appearance Body Hair

If you can’t tell the difference between a spoon and a ladle, then you’re fat.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat

There is an obesity epidemic; one out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body

He's as big as a gorilla and as strong as a gorilla; if he was as smart as a gorilla he'd be fine.

college football coach
Animals Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

Nowadays, a balanced diet is when every McNugget weighs the same!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Appearance Body Fat

Belly: The veranda over the toy shop.

Appearance Body Definitions

Fat is lost last where it is wanted the least. Corollary 1: Fat is lost first from areas of high desirability.
Corollary 2: With time fat flows from areas of high to low desirability. – Hal Belknap, M.D.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Age Appearance Body Old People

I liked the choreography, but I didn't care for the costumes.

(1939 – ) American actor, dancer, singer, producer & choreographer
Appearance Basketball Body Clothing Sports