Subject: Appearance » Clothing (Page 2)

Wear the right costume and the part plays itself.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven’t yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Appearance Clothing

I buy a dress because I need change for gum.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Activities Clothing Shopping

There is nothing so unbecoming on the beach as a wet kilt.

Appearance Clothing

I’ve got a shirt for every day of the week… it’s blue.

American humorist & public speaker
Appearance Clothing

Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Activities Clothing Sex Things Women

I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers… he was wanted for rustling.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Clothing Situations

If it says “one size fits all,” it doesn’t fit anyone.

Clothing Murphy’s Laws

If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

(1966 – ) American actor, comedian, screenwriter & film producer
Appearance Clothing

If you wear a turtleneck and a backpack it’s like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view.

(1934 – ) Italian actress
Appearance Clothing People Women

She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on with a pitch folk.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Appearance Clothing Insults

I bought a new pair of pajamas with pockets, which is great, cause now i don’t have to hold things when I sleep.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Clothing Situations Sleep Things

Militant feminists, I take my hat off to them, they don’t like that.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Appearance Clothing People Women

Women dress alike all over the world: they dress to be annoying to other women.

(1890 – 1973) Italian-French designer
Appearance Clothing People Women

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

Not Open To People Be Sloppily Dressed

Appearance Clothing Translations

My school colors were clear; we used to say, “I’m not naked, I’m in the band.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Appearance Body Clothing

When you wear new shoes for the first time, everyone will step on them.

Appearance Clothing Murphy’s Laws

Trying to get a little kid dressed is like gift-wrapping an octopus.

American writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family

You know you're getting old when you start to dress in more than six colors.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Age Appearance Clothing Old