Subject: Appearance (Page 23)

Lester: If you play your cards right, you could have my body.

Halley Reed: Wouldn’t you rather leave it to science?

(1945 – ) American model, activist & actress
Body TV/Movie Quotes

She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Appearance Insults

When I was pregnant, my friends sneered: ‘Eating for two, are we?’… I said, get lost, I’m not cutting down.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Appearance Body Eating Food/Drink

I really don’t think I need buns of steel; I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Appearance Body

Clothes and manners do not make the man; but, when he is made, they greatly improve his appearance.

(1813 – 1887) American clergyman, social reformer & abolitionist
Appearance Clothing

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

My friend got a personal trainer a year before his wedding; I thought: Bloody hell, how long’’s the aisle going to be.

comedian
Appearance Body

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian, television host, actress, & author
Appearance Clothing People

A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Animals Appearance Situations Things

If you have a pear shaped body, you should not wear pear colored clothes, or act juicy.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body

I don’t suggest that her face has been lifted, but there’s a possibility that her body has been lowered.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance Insults

That's the time of your life when even your birthday suit needs pressing.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Appearance Body Old

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Body Women

Probably the worst thing you can hear when you’re wearing a bikini is “Good for you!”


Appearance Body Clothing

I would give my left nut for a really nice guitar… I don't actually play the guitar, but I have three testicles.

(1981 – ) American comedian, writer & actor
Appearance Body

One out of every three Americans… weighs as much as the other two.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body Fat

He is so fat… when he steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please."

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Wrinkles: Something other people have… you have character lines.

Appearance Body Definitions

I look like a mix between a Jew and a guy who would drive by in a truck and yell "Jew.”

American comedian
Appearance People Self

Dirty blonde … I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Success

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Appearance Insults