Subject: Appearance (Page 44)

They used to shoot her through gauze; you should shoot me through linoleum.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
Appearance People Self

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

I don’t care if you think I’m racist… I just want you to think I’m thin.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Appearance Body

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf.

(1866 – 1946) English author
Appearance Body Golf Sports

I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.

(1964 – ) English comedian, author & television presenter
Appearance Body Hair

Honey, beside me, you look like Tony Randall!

(1933 – 1967) American actress, entertainer & Hollywood sex symbol
Appearance Body Insults

The only person who ever left the Iron Curtain wearing it.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Clothing Insults

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

She's all done up like a well-kept grave.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age Appearance Insults Old

She’s so hairy – when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Hair Insults

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Appearance Money

Yeah, she's beautiful, but you can't find her IQ with a flashlight.

Appearance Body Insults Intelligence

Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive; it makes it so you could care less that they’re ugly.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Appearance Food/Drink

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

The best accessory a girl can have is her best friend.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Appearance Friends Travel

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders… I hate necks.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Body Communication People Women Wordplay

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Age Fat Golf Sports

As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight.


Appearance Body Clothing

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body