Subject: Appearance (Page 52)

I tan the easy way… I just wait for my liver spots to connect.

(1951 – ) American author, playwright & lyricist
Appearance Body

I've never been an intellectual, but I have this look.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Intelligence

Liz: Why are you wearing a tux?

Jack: It’s after 6 o’clock Lemon. What am I, a farmer?

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

His ears are so big… he heard the sun come up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.


Appearance Clothing

He is so fat… he had his own area code.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Characteristics Clothing Communication Lies Truth World

Abdomen: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Appearance Body Eating

I model irregular clothing.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Appearance Clothing

She was a brunette by birth, but a blonde by habit.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Appearance Characteristics

He's a disappointed narcissist.

(1949 – ) English actor, writer & theater director
Appearance Body Insults

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Niles and I have decided to donate all your things to charity. We’re donating your clothes to the blind.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

His favorite exercise is climbing tall people.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Insults

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Chanel No. 5

(1926 – 1962) actress, sex symbol
Appearance Clothing

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up; so which one's the real hero?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Appearance Clothing

Every woman should marry an archaeologist because she grows increasingly attractive to him as she grows increasingly to resemble a ruin.

(1890 – 1976) British crime writer of novels, short stories & plays
Appearance Occupations Work

Her body has gone to her head.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Appearance Body Insults

My mother was the worst cook ever; in school, when we traded lunches, I had to throw in an article of clothing.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Clothing Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Insults