Subject: Appearance (Page 53)

Strip Teaser: One who makes a bare living.

Body Definitions Occupations

For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

(1924 – 2003) American comedian & actor
Appearance Golf Sports

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something’s not accurate?

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self

I'm the only woman who can walk in Central Park at night… and reduce the crime rate.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Conflict Crime People Self Ugly

My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Appearance Body Marriage Wives

When an opera star sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Appearance Entertainment Music

The life expectancy of a house plant varies inversely with its price and directly with its ugliness.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Ugly

I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Age Clothing Old

Well, well, well. Look what the cat cleaned up, showered, exfoliated, powdered, lipsticked, Gucci’d and dragged in.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance TV/Movie Quotes

He's so fat his bathtub has stretch marks.

(1941 – ) American basketball executive
Appearance Body Fat Insults

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up.’

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Clothing TV/Movie Quotes

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Appearance Clothing Science/Weather

Sarong: A simple garment carrying the implicit promise that it will not long stay in place.

Appearance Clothing Definitions

But he was the worst dresser in organized baseball; he made Inspector Clouseau look like a candidate for Mr. Blackwell's list of best-dressed men.

American baseball pitcher
Appearance Basketball Clothing Sports

Trying to get a little kid dressed is like gift-wrapping an octopus.

American writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family

I look like I was sent for and couldn’t go.

Appearance

Damn your nose, madam… there’s no end to it!

(1727 – 1788) English painter
Appearance Body Insults

She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

I wear my heart on my sleeve… I wear my liver on my pant leg.


Appearance Body Characteristics Emotions Situations

That woman's had her face lifted so many times that whenever she raises her eyebrows she pulls up her stockings.

Appearance Body