Subject: Appearance (Page 53)

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Appearance Characteristics Clothing

Azinger is wearing an all back outfit: black jumper, blue trousers, white shoes and a pink tea-cosy hat.

British sports announcer
Appearance Clothing Misspokements

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing Ugly

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws… only catapults.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Body Fat Things

If women dressed for men, the stores wouldn't sell much – just an occasional sun visor.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Clothing Men People Shopping Women

Diana Rigg is built like a brick mausoleum with insufficient flying buttresses.

(1925 – ) American author and literary, theater & film critic
Appearance Body

I dress for women… I undress for men.

(1931 – ) American actress
Appearance Body Clothing Men Sex

Newman: I’m a little offended, Jerry.

Jerry: You’re not a little anything, Newman.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Appearance Body TV/Movie Quotes

I keep trying to lose weight… but it keeps finding me.

Appearance Body Fat

Makeup: What it takes to look natural.

Appearance Definitions

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Clothing People Women

All other things being equal, the side with the simplest uniforms wins.

Appearance Clothing Military Murphy’s Laws

I once described him [Arnold Schwarzenegger] as looking like a condom full of walnuts.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Appearance Insults

You really wanna know what you look like to other people?… have a child draw you.

(1975 – ) American comedian & talk radio personality
Appearance People Self

I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was, I said, 'Actual' … I'm not to scale.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Appearance Clothing Situations

He should know better than that. He knows I only drink scotch.

Canadian professional hockey goalie
Body Hockey Sports

An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance.

Appearance Murphy’s Laws Success

1. Fat expands to fill any apparel worn.
2. A fat person walks in the middle of the hall.

Appearance Body Fat Murphy’s Laws

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

A woman whose face looked as if it had been made of sugar and someone had licked it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Insults

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives