Subject: Beliefs (Page 22)

Every word she writes is a lie, including "and" and "the."

(1912 – 1989) author, critic & political activist
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

Anyone who tells a lie has not a pure heart. and cannot make a good soup.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Beliefs Honesty Lies

I’m an Atheist… thank God.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
Beliefs God Religion Wordplay

Sure men were born to lie, and women, to believe them.

(1685 – 1732) English writer
Characteristics Honesty Lies Men People Women

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Beliefs Elections/Voting God Government

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

God is good, but never dance in a small boat.

Dance God Proverbs Things

If you are not an idealist by the time you are twenty you don’t have a heart, but if you are still an idealist by thirty you don’t have a head.

(1886 – 1918) American progressive writer & intellectual
Beliefs

He doesn’t have much of a reputation or so I’ve heard.

Beliefs Opinion

Isn’t it strange that the same people who laugh at gypsy fortune-tellers take economists seriously.

Beliefs

Facts without theory are trivia. Theory without facts is bullshit.

Beliefs Facts

I guess I wouldn’t believe in anything anymore if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Beliefs

It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

(1955 – ) cartoonist (Calvin and Hobbes)
Beliefs People Religion

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society.

(1951 – ) American conservative radio talk-show host
Beliefs Stupidity

First night, you get socks; second night, an eraser, a notebook – it’s a back to school holiday.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Beliefs Religion Situations

The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Beliefs Situations

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Beliefs Characteristics

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Beliefs Opinion

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Beliefs Government Politicians

I never give advice – I give warnings to live by.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Beliefs

The only time to be positive is when you are positive you are wrong.

Beliefs Murphy’s Laws