Subject: Beliefs (Page 22)

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

Statistics are no substitute for common sense.

Beliefs Facts

A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs

In order to preserve your self-respect, it is sometimes necessary to lie and cheat.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Characteristics Honesty Lies

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Liberty: Consists in giving everyone full right to mind everyone else’s business.

Beliefs Characteristics Definitions

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord it ain't the gout.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
God Health

The Catholics have an interesting view of sex; it is disgusting, amoral and filthy and you should save it for one you love.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian & filmmaker
Beliefs Religion Sex

He would not blow his nose without moralizing on conditions in the handkerchief industry.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Insults Opinion

He was of the faith chiefly in the sense that the church he currently did not attend was Catholic.

(1922 – 1995) English novelist & poet
Beliefs Religion

I have a bit of advice for hungry young comedians – eat something.

(1921 – 1984) British comedian & magician
Beliefs Opinion

The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.

(1906 – 1975) German-born American political theorist
Beliefs Government

He is a shifty-eyed goddamn liar…. he's one of the few in the history of this country to run for high office talking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time and lying out of both sides.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Characteristics Honesty Insults Lies

What a liberal wants is to bring about change which will not in any way endanger his position.

(1941 – 1998) Trinidadian-American and prominent figure in the Civil Rights Movement
Beliefs Government

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Beliefs

Rite: A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Entertainment Film Opinion

Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Communication Reading/Writing Religion

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing… if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Honesty Life Truth

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike; then I realised that The Lord doesn’t work that way… so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

(1973 – ) English comedian, writer, actor, director & producer
Beliefs God