Subject: Beliefs (Page 25)

USA Today has come out with a new survey; apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Facts People Science/Weather

Evangelist: A bearer of good tidings who gives us the good news and assures us of our own salvation and damnation of our neighbors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Beliefs Definitions Religion

It is common sense to take a method and try it… if it fails, admit it frankly and try another; but above all, try something.

(1882 – 1945) 32nd U.S. president
Beliefs Success

WTF, I thought I voted for a Muslim?!

Beliefs Religion

A witness shall not bear falsies against thy neighbor.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Characteristics Lies

Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.

(1894 – 1963) English writer
Beliefs Facts

A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Beliefs Lies People Women

It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics Friends Honesty People

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Honesty Truth

Will Rogers used to come out with a newspaper and pretend he was a yokel criticizing the intellectuals who ran the government; I come out with a newspaper and pretend I’m an intellectual making fun of the yokels running the government.

(1927 – ) Canadian-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Opinion

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Beliefs Money People

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Beliefs Entertainment Opinion

There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Having the critics praise you is like having the hangman say you’ve got a pretty neck.

(1915 – ) American film, television & stage actor
Beliefs Entertainment Opinion

Preachers denounce sin as if it was available to everyone.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Beliefs Religion

I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.

(1946 – ) filmmaker, actor & writer
Religion Sex

We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Appearance Characteristics Children Intelligence Religion Wives

Don’t they realize that if God took sports seriously he never would have created George Steinbrenner.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
God Sports

Ridiculous stereotypes often make people very ignorant towards other nationalities. For example, I’m in good shape, intelligent, and I don’t have sex with my cousins, and yet still people assume I’m American.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs People Religion

I’m a strict Catholic; this year I gave up abstinence for Lent.

English writer & comedian
Beliefs Religion Sex

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Beliefs Characteristics Religion