Subject: Beliefs (Page 3)

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them… well, I have others.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Beliefs

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Beliefs Children

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Beliefs Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Proverbs

Saying that you don’t believe in magic but do believe in God is a bit like saying you don’t have sex with dogs, except Labradors.

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs God

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.

(1928 – 1982) American novelist, short story writer & essayist
Beliefs Life Truth

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

(1895 – 1979) American archbishop of the Catholic Church
Beliefs Definitions Religion

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high-powered rifle and scope.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Beliefs Communication Opinion

Euphemism is a euphemism for lying.

(Roberta Lee Streeter) (1944 – ) American singer-songwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies

Anyone who tells a lie has not a pure heart. and cannot make a good soup.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Beliefs Honesty Lies

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior – unless you're Jewish.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Beliefs Characteristics Religion

There are no atheists in foxholes.

(1828-1882) English poet, illustrator, painter & translator
Beliefs God

Why's God always got such wacky shit to say?… when's the last time you heard somebody say, 'God told me to get a muffin and a cup of tea and cool out, man.'

American comedian & actor
Beliefs Communication God Speech

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road; they get run over.

(1897 – 1960) Welsh labor leader & politician
Accidents Beliefs Opinion Problems

What really matters is the name you succeed in imposing on the facts – not the facts themselves.

Facts Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

Gods like to see an atheist around… gives them something to aim at.

(1948 – ) English novelist
Beliefs God

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Beliefs Children Family Parents Religion

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

The definition of an atheist in Alabama is a person who doesn’t believe in Bear Bryant.

Georgia football coach
Beliefs Places

Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
Beliefs

God may choose to heal someone from cancer, yet that person still has a great deal of medical bills; the outstanding bills do not determine whether or not the patient has been healed by God.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Beliefs God Health Misspokements