Subject: Characteristics (Page 45)

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

Characteristics Communication Lies

The man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People Relationships

I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty… but I am too busy thinking about myself.

(1887 – 1964) English biographer, critic, novelist & poet
Characteristics

There’s only one difference between Catholics and Jews; Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.

(1952 – ) comedian
Beliefs Characteristics People Religion

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Age Characteristics Honesty People Truth Women

You are not being diplomatic just because you put please in front of “Shut the hell up.”

Characteristics Situations

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

My wife says I’m unsophisticated and uncultured, so to prove her wrong, guess where I’m taking her… hint: It starts with “B” and rhymes with “wallet.”

Characteristics Wordplay

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men – the other 999 follow women.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Characteristics Men Women

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Animals Characteristics Life

A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life’s gas pipe with a lighted candle.

(1881 – 1975) English writer & humorist
Characteristics Death

Our strength is often composed of the weakness that we're damned if we are going to show.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics

When someone sings his own praises, he always gets the tune too high.

(1949 – ) English nurse
Characteristics

The price of purity is purists.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Characteristics People

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Beliefs Characteristics

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

New York is not Mecca… it just smells like it.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Characteristics New York City Places

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics

Selfish: Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Definitions

He's [Frank Sinatra] the kind of guy that when he dies, he's going up to heaven and give God a bad time for making him bald.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Characteristics Insults