Subject: Communication

My piñata costume was a hit with the crowd

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Wordplay

I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, ‘Are we then yet?’

(1987 – ) British comedian
Things Wordplay

I’m the lady who works at Paramount all day… and Fox all night.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
TV/Movie Quotes Wordplay

The first sentence that I was taught to say by my parents as a little boy was: “Of course I know that I’m wrong.”

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Communication People Self Speech

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball Language Music

Political speeches are like steer horns: a point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Communication Government Politics Speech

People with Tourette’s… what makes them tick?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Health Wordplay

Farmer: A handy man with a sense of humus.

Definitions Wordplay

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Communication Conversation Insults Speech

Who remembers when X Factor was just Roman suncream?

British comedian
Communication Wordplay

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend… the reason we broke up is because I caught her lying – under another man.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Language Relationships Sex

I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Language

Correlation does not imply causality, but the more I say things like that the fewer people want to talk to me.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
Communication Speech

My neighbors don’t like it when I talk to my plants… I use a megaphone.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Speech

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Happiness Language People

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?

(1980 – ) popular singer
Communication Misspokements Speech

Intelligent conversationalist: One who nods his head in agreement while you’re talking.

Communication Conversation Definitions Intelligence Speech

There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies and statistics.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics Communication Honesty Lies

Never get into an argument with a schizophrenic person and say, "Who do you think you are?"

(1956 – 1996) American comedian, actor & television host
Communication Speech

Electrocardiograph: Ticker tape.

Definitions Wordplay

It was while making newspaper deliveries, trying to miss the bushes and hit the porch, that I first learned the importance of accuracy in journalism.

(1933 – ) American telejournalist
Communication Language Reading/Writing