Subject: Education (Page 4)

I took a physics course that was so hard I couldn't find the classroom.

comedian
Education School Science/Weather

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

(1803 – 1869) French Romantic composer
Education Life Time

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

Absolute Zero: The lowest grade attainable on a test.

Definitions Education School

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship.

(1922 – 2002) American college basketball coach
Doctors School

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Education Law Money School

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family Parents Reading/Writing School

During exams you are permitted to look down for inspiration and up in exasperation, but you are not permitted to look side to side for information.

Education

director I spent four years in college but I didn’t learn a thing; i was really my own fault… I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

(1979 – ) American actor, writer, comedian & director
Communication Education Wordplay

Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex.

(1818 – 1883) German philosopher, economist, sociologist & socialist
Education Intelligence Sex

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Education

Before he died my father told me he never really walked to school without any shoes.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Death Fathers School Situations

If law school is so hard to get through… how come there are so many lawyers?

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Education Government Law Lawyers School

Education with socialists: it’s like sex, all right so long as you don’t have to pay for it

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Education Sex

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Education Facts Science/Weather

I failed math so many times in school, I can’t even count.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Education School

Graduate School: The place where a young scholar goes off his Dad’s payroll – and on to his wife’s.

Definitions Education School

How can you tell if a Korean broke into your house?… your dog is missing, and your homework is done.

(1962 – ) American television host, actress & comedian
Animals Dogs People School

University: A college with a stadium seating more than sixty thousand.

Definitions Education School

I never could make out what those damned dots meant.

(1911 – 1968) British politician & son of Prime Minister Winston Churchill
Education Learning