Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
Home
About
Categories
Activities
Age
Animals
Appearance
Beliefs
Characteristics
Communication
Conflict
Death
Education
Emotions
Entertainment
Family
Food/Drink
Government
Health
Intelligence
Life
Marriage
Miscellaneous
Money
People
Places
Problems
Relationships
Science/Weather
Sex
Situations
Sports
Success
Things
Time
Work
Additional Categories
Book Titles
Confucius say
Definitions
Epitaphs
Exaggerations
Expressions
Hollywood Squares
Insults
Last Words
Murphy's Laws
Place Names
Proverbs
Reviews/Criticism
Song Titles
Tom Swifties
TV/Movie Quotes
Oops...
Bushisms
Church Bulletins
Classified Ads
Colemanballs
Headlines
Malaprops
Misspokements
Signs
Translations
Yogi-isms
Some Popular Authors
Abraham Lincoln
Alfred E. Neuman
Ambrose Bierce
Benjamin Franklin
Dave Barry
Demetri Martin
Dorothy Parker
Emo Phillips
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
H.L. Mencken
Homer Simpson
Jeff Foxworthy
Jimmy Carr
Joan Rivers
Mae West
Mark Twain
Mitch Hedberg
Oscar Wilde
Phyllis Diller
Richard Lewis
Rita Rudner
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
Stewart Francis
W.C. Fields
Will Rogers
Woody Allen
View All Authors
Subject:
Emotions
(Page 18)
We have nothing to fear but fear itself… and of course the boogieman.
Pat Paulsen
(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
Emotions
Fear
Boogieman
Nervous as a hound pissing peach pits
Anonymous
Emotions
Expressions
Nervous
The look of love wears a blindfold and smells like the trunk of my car.
Jarod Kintz
(1982 – ) American author
Emotions
He's like, 'Caroline, you've got a cavity,' and I'm like, 'I know – and I'd like you to fill it.'
Caroline Rhea
(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Emotions
Sex
To her 'hot' dentist
I moved to New York for my health; I’m paranoid, and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.
Anita Weiss
Fear
Health
New York City
Places
Paranoia
Sense Of Humor: Being able to laugh at your friends’ misfortunes.
Anonymous
Definitions
Emotions
Sense of humor
This makes me so sore it gets my
dandruff
up.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Anger
Malaprops
Dander
Whatever happened to the good old days when kids was scared to death of their parents?
Archie Bunker
television character,
All In the Family
(Carroll O’Connor)
Age
Children
Family
Fear
Parents
Past
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
Pearl Bailey
(1918 – 1990) American actress & singer
Emotions
Love
Places
World
Paperwork
As my mom has said, when one person is unhappy, it usually means two people are unhappy but that one has not come to terms with it yet.
Mindy Kaling
(1979 – ) American actress, comedian & writer
Emotions
Happiness
I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.
Larry David
(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Emotions
People
Self
Comfort zone
It was a very heart-
rendering
story.
Anonymous
Emotions
Malaprops
Heart-rending
I remember what I was doing the first time I told someone I loved them… I was lying to get sex.
Jimmy Carr
(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Emotions
Love
Sex
Situations
It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Groucho Marx
(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions
Happiness
Places
Kansas City
Relatives
I’ve lost my will to suffer.
Ashleigh Brilliant
(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions
Suffering
He who laughs first, laughs last… if nobody laughs in the middle.
Black’s Discovery
Laughter
Murphy’s Laws
Gerrit Blaauw
The quickest way to a man's heart really is through his stomach, because then you don't have to chop through that pesky rib cage.
Jeph Jacques
(1980 – ) cartoonist
Body
Emotions
Man's heart
rib cage
Stomach
Once a woman has given you her heart you can never get rid of the rest of her body.
Sir John Vanbrugh
(1664 – 1726) English architect & dramatist
Emotions
Love
Sex
Women
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost
(1874 – 1963) American poet
Emotions
Love
It's better to have loved and lost, then have to live with that bitch for the rest of my life.
Steve McGrew
comedian
Divorce
Emotions
Love
Marriage
In the race for love, I was scratched.
Joan Davie
Emotions
Love
Relationships
Page 18 of 23
« First
« Previous
16
17
18
19
20
Next »
Last »