Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 12)

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Death Food/Drink

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

More people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Beliefs Intelligence Religion

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

Patsy: What will you drink if you stop drinking?
Edina: I shall drink water.
Patsy: [Blank look]
Edina: It’s a mixer, Patsy, we have it with whisky.

(1958 – ) English comedian, screenwriter & actress
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

You mix two jiggers of scotch with one jigger of Metracal [a diet supplement]; so far, I’ve lost five pounds and my driver’s license.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Alcohol Food/Drink Misspokements

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Appearance Beer Body Men

Rum: Generically, fiery liquors that produce madness in total abstainers.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions

Not all chemicals are bad; without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Science/Weather

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

(1917 – 1995) singer, actor & comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Alcohol Things

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Alcohol Food/Drink

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run.

(1896 – 1940) American author of novels & short stories
Alcohol Food/Drink