Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 12)

If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got home…"

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Little Bobby’s Drunk Again

Alcohol Book Titles

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

If you ever need someone to drink with, I’ll drink with you. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, I’ll drink with you. I guess what I’m trying to say is: I love to drink!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the D.T.'s begin.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health Hollywood Places

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

There are two rules for drinking whisky: first, never take whisky without water, and second, never take water without whisky.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Pour him out of here!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Alcohol Situations

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

I’m so holy that when I touch wine, it turns into water.

(1877 – 1957) 48th Imam of the Nizari Ismaili community & [founder &] president of the All-India Muslim League
Alcohol Food/Drink

You can't fall off the floor.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Alcohol Food/Drink

Never drink anything that’s still on fire.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Accidents Alcohol Emotions Laughter

Burt Johnson: I don't drink because drinking affects your decision-making.

Arthur: You may be right… I can't decide.

(1935 – 2002) English actor, comedian, composer & musician
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Never buy a drink for the road, because the road is already laid out.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs