Subject: Food/Drink (Page 29)

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has had to worry about where the next meal would come from.

(1909 – 2005) management writer
Characteristics Food/Drink People

The way to a man's stomach is through his mouth.

Eating Food/Drink Proverbs

Alcohol killed my first wife… I got home drunk one night and shot her.

(1948 – ) British stand-up comedian
Alcohol Conflict Death Food/Drink Killing

You might be a redneck if… you take a six-pack cooler to church.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer People Rednecks

Romanian-Yiddish cooking has killed more Jews than Hitler.

(1915 – 1977) American actor of stage and screen
Cooking Food/Drink

Now, I’m what you’d call a ‘social drinker,' which means if someone says they’ll have a drink, I say, ‘So shall I.'

American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Food/Drink Health

I put fruit on top of my waffles, because I want something to brush off.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

Jesse Ventura is basically proof that the people of Minnesota are not social drinkers… they are obviously alcoholics.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Food/Drink Places Politicians

The more food you prepare, the less your guests eat.

Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Food/Drink

Louisiana has the best food on the planet if you don't really ask too much about what you're eating.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Eating Food/Drink Places

I think that I would be a good father… especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker
Alcohol Children Family Fathers

Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.

author
Alcohol Food/Drink Science/Weather

Stress cannot exist in the presence of pie.

(1947 – ) American playwright, screenwriter & film director
Emotions Food/Drink

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.

(1903 – 1989) American writer
Food/Drink Insults Intelligence

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

How can you tell when sour cream goes bad?

Food/Drink Situations