Subject: Food/Drink (Page 43)

Food consumed standing up always has ten times the calorific intake of food consumed sitting down.

Eating Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.

(1869 – 1946) American novelist & dramatist
Alcohol Beliefs Food/Drink Opinion

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Cooking Food/Drink

No man is alone eating spaghetti; it requires so much attention.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Eating Food/Drink

He has a profound respect for old age… especially when it’s bottled.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Age Alcohol

Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.

(1927 – 2007) American newspaper columnist
Books Communication Eating Food/Drink Reading/Writing Sex

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction: I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Food/Drink

A first rate soup is better than a second rate painting.

(1908 – 1970) American professor of psychology
Art Entertainment Food/Drink

Is it impossible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee in this country any more?

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Food/Drink

Kidney: A complex organ used to convert beer into urine.

Beer Definitions Food/Drink

Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.

Alcohol Food/Drink Health Life

If I was on death row and given one last meal I would ask for a fortune cookie; “Come on ‘long prosperous life!’”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Death Food/Drink

The tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Food/Drink

Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: No, I’d like a dead cat in a glass.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Beer

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

My first words were ‘Seconds, please.’

(1953 – ) American comedian & television host
Communication Eating Food/Drink Self Speech

No man is lonely while eating spaghetti.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Eating Food/Drink

Bread that must be sliced with an axe is bread that is too nourishing.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Food/Drink

Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Food/Drink Misspokements

If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer; it’s just three more years that you want a donut.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Death Food/Drink Life