Subject: Food/Drink (Page 45)

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Alcohol Food/Drink

I am not so think as you drunk I am.

(1884 – 1958) British poet, writer, historian & literary editor
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

If you think you're an alcoholic, go to Scotland; people in Scotland drink while they're drinking.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
Food/Drink Places

I didn't climb to the top of the f**kin' food chain to eat carrots.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

I’ve decided to make Grammy Moon’s famous sheep’s head stew. Don’t worry, the name’s a bit misleading – it’s actually more of a soup.

(1961 – ) English actress, model, producer, comedian, singer & dancer
Cooking Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia?

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Beer England Food/Drink Places

Little Bobby’s Drunk Again

Alcohol Book Titles

There is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Food/Drink Time

Marriage: A deal in which a man gives away half his groceries in order to get the other half cooked.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Marriage

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss.

(1907 – 1988) science fiction author
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Taxes

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Beer Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Is she fat? … Her favorite food is seconds.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Eating Fat Food/Drink Insults

A lot of people don't know it, but onions make me sad!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Emotions Food/Drink

God created alcohol just to stop the Irish from ruling the world.

(1956 – ) English actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

The commercial for Diet Dr. Pepper says it tastes just like regular Dr. Pepper; well, then they screwed up!

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Food/Drink

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist
Children Food/Drink

The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Money

Sam: You drinking again?

Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.

(1951 – ) American actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Eating Food/Drink Money Wealth