Subject: Health (Page 23)

Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask.

comedian
Health Wordplay

This weekend I pulled a muscle in my cheeks trying to smile.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Health

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Doctors Health Work

I have the woman-flu, which is like the manflu but worse because I also regularly have periods and I get paid less.

Danish comedian
Health Men People Women

My doctor tells me I got a communications disease.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

It's this disease that only white girls catch from glamour magazines.

(1966 – 2011) American stand-up comedian
Health

Hypochondria is the one disease I haven’t got.

(1951 – ) English television writer
Health

Erectile Dysfunction Probed with Engineering Tool

Headlines Health

I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately; ring the nearest golf course.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Doctors Golf Health Sports

I feel like death eatin’ a soda cracker.

Expressions Health

What’s Up Down There?: Questions You’d Only Ask Your Gynecologist If She Was Your Best Friend

Book Titles Health

When I got to the hospice I was under the impression it would be a two- or three-week stay, but here I still am, six weeks later, and I've gotten so well Medicare won't pay for me anymore.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Government Health Money

Don't be hollerin' at him, will ya, you'll give him a mental sterosis.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Health Malaprops

I met the surgeon general and he offered me a cigarette.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Health

There are more old drunkards than old doctors.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Doctors Health

What do you mean, heart attack? … You’ve got to have a heart before you can have an attack.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Health Insults

What Moles Tell You About Yourself

Book Titles Health

It never heals correctly.

Health Murphy’s Laws

I read today that 10 out of 2 people are dyslectic.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Health

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Health People Self Work