Subject: Insults (Page 37)

You really have to get to know him to dislike him.

(1908 – 1989) U.S. Representative
Insults

The first known case of a rat joining a sinking ship.

Insults

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

Communication Insults Murphy’s Laws

Alfred Hitchcock: One look at you and I know there's famine in the land.

Shaw’s reply: One look at you, Mr. Hitchcock, and I know who caused it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Appearance Body Fat Insults

I'm not saying the wife's ugly, but last Christmas she stood under the mistletoe waiting for someone to kiss and she was still there at lent.

(1931 – 1993) English comedian
Appearance Insults

That kid's about as sharp as a pound of wet liver.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults Stupidity TV/Movie Quotes

That woman’s as cold as a nudist on an iceberg.

cartoon character (Mel Blanc)
Insults TV/Movie Quotes

One of the nicest old ladies I ever met.

(1897-1962) American writer
Insults

Is that your wife? … Oh, well, keep your chin up.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Fat Insults

If you said 'irony' to Clay, he'd look down at his shirt and think it needed pressing.

(1957 – ) American actor, comedian, writer & director
Insults Intelligence

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

(1837 – 1920) American author
Insults People Relationships Time

Lady Astor to Winston Churchill: If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.

Churchill, in reply: If you were my wife, I’d drink it.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Insults Marriage People

I asked the Scottish Football Association if San Marino was a republic or a principality; they said it was a technicality.

Scottish football commentator
Insults Places

His mind was like a soup dish, wide and shallow; it could hold a small amount of nearly anything, but the slightest jarring spilled the soup into somebody's lap.

(1903 – 1989) American writer
Food/Drink Insults Intelligence

He stood on the flat road to heaven and buttered slides to hell for all the rest.

(1841 – 1935) American jurist & Supreme Court justice
Insults

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Insults

Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time.

(1931 – ) American-born, British screenwriter, novelist & journalist
Insults Sex

Nigel Mansell is someone with about as much charisma as a damp spark-plug.

British sportswriter
Auto racing Insults Sports

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Education Fools God Insults Intelligence

Like all self-made men he worships his creator.

Insults Reviews/Criticism

When one door closes another one falls on top of you.

(1956 – ) British actor, writer, musician, comedian & broadcaster
Insults