Subject: Money (Page 6)

Unless the results are known in advance, funding agencies will reject the proposal.

Take Home Pay: An amount of money which is called that because it is never big enough to go anywhere else with it.

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author

I miss the $2 bill, ‘cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do you need, a one and another one?

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

If I had a dollar for every time I said that, I'd be making money in a very weird way.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist

Americans are getting stronger; twenty years ago it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries… today, a five-year-old can do it.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian

I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet

I want a man who’s kind and understanding; is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress

…if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you.

(1990 – 1946) newspaperman & writer

We were poor. we were so poor, in my neighborhood the rainbow was in black-and-white.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I had to recently move back home, because my mom was having trouble paying both our rents.

Actress & comedian

Mausoleum: The final and funniest folly of the rich.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist

Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing; it's called the stock market.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Change of fashion is the tax levied by the industry of the poor on the vanity of the rich.

(1741 – 1794) French writer

I saw a bank that said “24 Hour Banking,” but I don’t have that
 much time.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem; if you owe the bank $100 million, that’s the bank’s problem.

(1892 – 1976) oil industrialist (once world’s richest man)

No gold-digging for me… I take diamonds!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol