Subject: Money (Page 6)

U.S. Audit Finds Funds For Youth Misspent

Headlines Money

BREAKING: Mitt Romney will embark on a three-nation foreign trip to visit his money.

(1958 – ) American writer, comedian, satirist & actor
Money Wealth

Rich widows are the only secondhand goods that sell at first-class prices.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Money

We were so poor, every Christmas Eve my old man would go outside and shoot his gun, then come in and tell us kids Santa Claus had committed suicide.

(1921 – ) American boxing champion
Money Poverty

Even if you gave him poison he wouldn't die until he'd recovered the deposit on the bottle.

Frugal Money

Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.

(1943 – ) English comedian
Children Family Money Wealth

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics Money

They were living high on the cob.

Life Malaprops Money

You might be a redneck if… the richest member of your family bought a house and you have to help take the wheels off of it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks Relationships

If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drilling rights on George Bush's head.

(1943 – ) U.S. agriculture commissioner, columnist, activist & author
Insults Intelligence Money

If the Lord had more respect for money, He would have given it to a higher class of people.

(1928 – 2014) American actor
Money TV/Movie Quotes

Expenditure rises to meet income.

(1909 – 1993) British naval historian & author
Money Murphy’s Laws

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money People Places Poverty

There is nothing so habit-forming as money.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Money

The first time you go out after your wife’s birthday, you will see the gift you gave her marked down fifty percent.
Corollary: If she’s with you, she’ll assume you chose it because it was cheap.

Husbands Money Murphy’s Laws Shopping Wives

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Life Money Situations

He breathes through his nose to keep from wearing out his teeth.

Expressions Frugal

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to ‘Until debt do us part.’

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Money

Nobody ever said that capitalism guarantees profit.

(1947 – ) American economist
Government Money

In this country you’re guilty until proven wealthy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
America Government Law Money Wealth

Committee reports dealing with wages, salaries, fringe benefits, facilities, computers, employee parking, libraries, coffee breaks, secretarial support, etc., always call for dramatic expenditure increases.

Money Murphy’s Laws