Subject: People (Page 119)

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Fools Intelligence People Things

It’s weird to hear a girl laugh when I’m not making love to her.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Laughter People Self Sex

When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighters shaking hands.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People Women

Old people love to give good advice; it compensates them for their inability to set a bad example.

(1613 – 1680) French writer
Age Intelligence Old People

Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Friends Success

I want to donate a large amount of money to a rape clinic and I won't take no for an answer.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People

I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

(1942 – 2018) English physicist
Beliefs Life People

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

Republicans have been accused of abandoning the poor; it’s the other way around… they never vote for us.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Government Misspokements People

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

movie character in The Mask (Amy Yasbeck)
Men People Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

I've never seen driving as a sexual thing – I just could never consider it in that light. I think women are interested in the drivers because of the dangers, but some of us are as dull as Old Nick.

Scottish auto racer
Auto racing People Sports Women

A toastmaster is a man who eats a meal he doesn’t want so he can get up and tell a lot of stories he doesn’t remember to people who’ve already heard them.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Communication Occupations People Work

Girls are like pianos… when they're not upright, they're grand.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Girls People Women

Oaf: An old fashioned jerk.

Definitions People

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

The opera is like a husband with a foreign title – expensive to support, hard to understand and therefore a supreme social challenge.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Entertainment Music People

I’m fairly certain that the only reason I was born crippled was because God knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to become a stripper.

American comedian
Health People Self

When I was a kid my family said having feelings was an act of treason.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Family Self

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People Situations Time

I miss being pampered.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government People Self

The Welsh are just Italians in the rain.

(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
People Places