Subject: People » Women (Page 8)

Equality is not when a female Einstein gets promoted to assistant professor; equality is when a female schlemiel moves ahead as fast as a male schlemiel.

Fools Intelligence Men People Women

That shower massager makes a woman shake like a car on bad gas going up a hill.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
People Women

I read recently that women still make 30% less than men in the workplace, which I think is fine, cause if we didn’t make 30% more, you guys would marry each other.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Marriage Money People Women

Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Women

A girl in the convertible is worth five in the phone book.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Autos People Things Women

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.

(1882 – 1941) English novelist, essayist, publisher & feminist
Communication History People Reading/Writing Time Women

Men and women belong to different species, and communication between them is a science still in its infancy.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication Men People Science/Weather Women

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

… the Women’s Lubrication Movement.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops People Women

On our first date, I asked her if I could give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek… she bent over!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Women

The most efficient water power in the world – women's tears.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People Women

Behind every successful man, you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear.

(1908 – 1997) American actor
Appearance Clothing Men People Success Women

Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible.

(1901 – 1978) anthropologist
Men People Women

The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Characteristics Women

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

(1857 – 1924) English (Polish-Ukrainian-born) novelist
Men People Problems Women

A woman is as young as her knees.

(1934 – ) British fashion designer
Age Appearance Body Women

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars

Men People Women

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Individuals Women

Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People Women

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Clothing Men People Women