Subject: Problems (Page 4)

The faster a computer is, the faster it will reach a crashed state.

Computers Failure Murphy’s Laws Things

Discussion: A method of confirming others in their errors.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language Mistakes People

If your project doesn't work, look for the part you didn't think was important.

Failure Murphy’s Laws Problems

The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Marriage Mistakes

When taking something apart to fix a minor malfunction, you will cause a major malfunction.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
America Places Problems

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Marriage Problems Shopping Wives

Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Coach: Hey Norm, how’s the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Life Problems TV/Movie Quotes

Any new activity will cause more trouble than you can possibly imagine.

Murphy’s Laws Problems Situations

Never say “oops” while your patient is conscious.

Doctors Health Murphy’s Laws Problems

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Fools Intelligence Mistakes People Problems

If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage. If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.

(1953 – ) American musician
Mistakes Problems

If you fall and break your legs, don't come running to me.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Accidents Problems

I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming I never made one.

(1841 – 1918) publisher of the New York Herald
Mistakes Problems

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade… and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.

(1973 – ) American author of young adult fiction,
Life Problems

The good Lord never gives you more than you can handle… unless you die of something.

(1935 – ) American cartoonist
Beliefs Death God Life Problems

If you use a pole saw to saw a limb while standing on an aluminum ladder borrowed from your neighbor, the limb will fall in such a way as to bend the ladder before it knocks you to the ground.

Murphy’s Laws Problems

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Doctors Health Mistakes