Subject: Science/Weather (Page 8)

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
People Science/Weather

Nothing puzzles me more than time and space; and yet nothing troubles me less, as I never think about them.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Characteristics Science/Weather Time

What does the word 'meteorologist' mean in English? It means 'liar.'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright
Occupations Science/Weather Work

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist The Far Side
Money Science/Weather

Trees that grow in smoggy cities are needed to make carbon paper.

comedian
Science/Weather

I don’t believe in astrology… I’m a Sagittarian, and we’re skeptical.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Beliefs Science/Weather

The day of the big heat wave is the day the office air conditioning breaks down.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather

It is so hot… potatoes cook underground.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Characteristics Honesty Lies Science/Weather

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Cold Places Science/Weather

Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight; blue sky at night… day.

Humorist
Science/Weather

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
Education Facts Science/Weather

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’, but ‘That’s funny…’

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Communication Science/Weather Speech

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour; sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute; that’s relativity.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Heat Science/Weather

If man evolved from monkeys and apes… why do we still have monkeys and apes?

(1965 – ) American comedian
Animals Science/Weather

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs People Religion Science/Weather

Infinity – where no-one can get, but where all lines meet.

Science/Weather

All science is either physics or stamp collecting.

(1871 – 1937) New Zealand-born British nuclear physicist
Science/Weather

Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

(1926 – 1991) American television journalist
Baseball Science/Weather Sports

1. An object in motion will be heading in the wrong direction.
2. An object at rest will be in the wrong place.

Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Ever notice how random chance always picks you for jury duty, but not to win the lottery?

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Science/Weather Situations