Subject: Things » Computers

The only people making money these days are the ones who sell computer paper.

Computers Money Murphy’s Laws Things

The only thing God didn't do to Job was give him a computer.

(1907 – 1989) American writer
Beliefs Computers God Things

Rare is the “improvement” that will ever repay the time lost in performing it.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
Computers Dogs School Things

We are now able to create virtual realities on computers… are we all living in one created by someone in the future?

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
Computers Things

Keyboard: The standard way to generate computer errors.

Computers Definitions Things

Every program has at least one bug and can be shortened by at least one instruction — from which, by induction, one can deduce that every program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Science/Weather Things

Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers.

American computer programmer
Computers Occupations Things Work

The word “user” is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Intelligence Things

It would appear that we have reached the limits of what it is possible to achieve with computer technology, although one should be careful with such statements, as they tend to sound pretty silly in 5 years.

(1903 – 1957) Hungarian-American mathematician
Computers Future Science/Weather Things Time

Never program and drink beer at the same time.

Alcohol Beer Computers Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws Things

There are two major products that come out of Berkeley LSD and UNIX; we don't believe this to be a coincidence.

American computer systems administrator
Computers Things

To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.

Computers Mistakes Murphy’s Laws Problems Things

There’s always one more bug.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Communication Computers Things

The main reason I don’t cheat on my girlfriend is so I can go for a shower without taking my phone, laptop and iPad with me.

British comedian
Computers Relationships Things

Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

If a computer cable has one end, then it has another.

Computers Murphy’s Laws Things

Socializing on the internet is to socializing, what reality TV is to reality.

(1961 – ) American playwright & screenwriter
Computers Things

Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software.

(1917 – ) English physicist & science fiction author
Computers Things

Bill Gates is a very rich man today… and do you want to know why?… the answer is one word: versions.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Things