Subject: Work » Occupations

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work

The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economist.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

The profession of a prostitute is the only career in which the maximum income is paid to the newest apprentice.

(1829 – 1912) British preacher who founded The Salvation Army
Occupations Work

Once a man wants to hold a public office, he is absolutely no good for honest work.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Government Occupations Politicians Work

Overall, I’d say my career as a photographer has been a bit of a blur.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Occupations Work

You go to a psychiatrist when you’re slightly cracked and keep going until you’re completely broke.

Occupations Work

It is easier to square the circle than to get round a mathematician.

(1806 – 1871) English mathematician
Occupations Science/Weather Work

I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, “I wanna grow up and be a critic.”

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Communication Occupations Work

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

The Pope has come out and said that only 2 per cent of Catholic priests are paedophiles; unfortunately, that  2 per cent is their penis.

Canadian comedian
Occupations Work

Forever poised between a cliche and an indiscretion.

(1894 – 1986) British prime minister
Government Occupations Work

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

If I’m making millions to put a ball through a hoop, you can’t ever piss me off.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Money Occupations Sports Work

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Money Occupations People Work

Accountant: One who uses your books to figure his profit.

Definitions Occupations

Economist: A man who knows more about money than the people who have it.

Definitions Occupations People

Critic: One quick-on-the-flaw.

Definitions Occupations

Economist: One who takes a lot of unwarranted assumptions and reaches a foregone conclusion.

Definitions Occupations Work

Reporter: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Occupations People Truth

A professional is one who does a good job even when he doesn't feel like it.

Murphy’s Laws Occupations Work

Gourmet: A food fetishist.

Cooking Definitions Food/Drink Occupations