Subject: Work » Occupations (Page 2)

Do they give pilots crash courses in flight school?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Communication Occupations Wordplay Work

Writing is the hardest way of earning a living, with the possible exception of wrestling alligators.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Communication Occupations Reading/Writing Work

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.

Matt Thompson (1965 – ) American comedian
Emotions Laughter Occupations Work

Four hundred bucks an hour for being sort of nice to sad people.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Doctors Health Money Occupations

I'm not an actor, and I enclose met press cuttings to prove it.

(1915 – 1999) American stage, film & television actor
Acting Occupations Work

Statistician: Someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

Definitions Occupations Work

She was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.

(1870 – 1916) British writer
Cooking Food/Drink Occupations Work

Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? … all you do is change the words.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication Misspokements Occupations Reading/Writing Work

A critic is a bunch of biases held loosely together by a sense of taste.

(1926 – 2007) American jazz critic & book reviewer
Communication Death Occupations Work

Philosopher: One who, instead of crying over spilt milk, consoles himself with the thought that it was over four-fifths water.

Definitions Occupations

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication Intelligence Occupations Work

I wish I had put ballet shoes on him and not boxing gloves.

Boxing Occupations Sports

Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Occupations Work

The longer the title, the less important the job.

(1922 – 2012) American historian, author, U.S. Representative & Senator (South Dakota)
Occupations Work

Clergyman: A ticket speculator outside the gates of Heaven.

Beliefs Definitions Occupations

Accountant: Someone hired to explain that you didn’t make the money you did.

Definitions Occupations

I would not want to be a mobile home repo man… Knock knock… “Hi, would you go cut your grass and look that way for a half an hour?”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Occupations Work

I’m a character actor, which is a polite way of saying ‘ugly.’

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Occupations Ugly Work

I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there’s not a lot of teaching involved in that.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Occupations Work

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic
Acting Definitions Entertainment Occupations