Subject: Work (Page 7)

I’m too lazy to work and too scared to steal.

professional baseball player
Baseball Characteristics Sports Work

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Occupations People

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.

(1874 – 1963) American poet
People Work

… there are three sexes – men, women, and clergymen.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Occupations People

When I was a kid I used to play doctor with this little girl in my neighborhood and one time we got caught… luckily, it was a Wednesday and we were just playing golf.

comedian
Doctors Occupations Work

The number of people in any working group tends to increase regardless of the amount of work to be done.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

The only problem with having nothing to do is you can't stop and rest.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Problems Situations Work

My husband always felt that a marriage and career don't mix’ that's why he's never worked.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Husbands Marriage Work

He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People Work

A teacher is someone who talks in our sleep!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Education Occupations Sleep

If a man works like a horse for his money, there are a lot of girls anxious to take him down the bridal path.

(1922 – 2018) comedian & actor
Marriage Money Work

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Situations Sleep Work

Critics? … I love every bone in their heads.

(1888 – 1953) American playwright
Communication Intelligence Occupations Work

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Education Occupations

I got my first full-time job, but I could have sworn I was making more money in college, working for my parents as their daughter.

(1977 – ) American comedian
Occupations Work

You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
TV/Movie Quotes Work

If they make it illegal to wear the veil at work, bee keepers are going to be furious.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Situations Work

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.

Definitions Occupations

Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

Undertaker: The last guy to let you down.

Definitions Occupations Work

If a job’s worth doing, make sure you delegate it to the right person.

Work