Author: Anonymous Page 105

Is that going to throw a wrinkle?

Mixed metaphors

Vacation: Where you take the family to get away from it all, only to find it there, too.

Definitions

“The vegetables are overcooked!” she steamed.

Tom Swifties

Guest towel: A small square of non-absorbent fabric surrounded by waterproof embroidery.

Definitions Things

Censorship: The power of the suppress.

Communication Wordplay

Nepotism: A form of favoritism – relatively speaking.

Definitions Family

“I’m sure we can fool them into thinking this is pollen,” said Tom beguilingly.

Tom Swifties

Dignity: Something that can’t be preserved in alcohol.

Definitions

Accomplice: One who lacks brains as well as honesty.

Definitions

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.

Education Insults

Just give me a shave… I haven’t time to listen to a haircut.

Communication Speech Time

A loose tongue spoils the broth.

Mixed metaphors

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

“It’s my personal magnetism,” said Tom ironically.

Tom Swifties

Home: The place where you can scratch any place you itch.

Definitions Places

A censor has the peculiar faculty of banning just what we want to hear, see,

Occupations Work

Juvenile Delinquents: Other people’s children.

Definitions

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Definitions

Doorman: A genius who can open the door of your car with one hand, help you in with the other, and still have one left for the tip.

Definitions Occupations

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everyone believes he has the biggest piece.

Definitions

They were living high on the cob.

Life Malaprops Money