Author: Anonymous Page 13

“I got this ballpoint pen from a Yugoslav friend”, said Tom acerbically.

Tom Swifties

Executive Suite: A sugar daddy.

Definitions

“I can no longer hear anything,” said Tom deftly.

Tom Swifties

We are beating a dead drum.

Mixed metaphors

This is no longer just a bubbling brook.

Malaprops

He once had a unbiblical hernia.

Health Malaprops

Artist’s Model: A girl unsuited for her work.

Definitions

We should go metric every inch of the way.

Language Science/Weather

Tact: The knack of making a point without making an enemy.

Communication Definitions

Never let a gift horse in the house.

Malaprops

Hospital: A place where people who are run down wind up..

Definitions

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Characteristics

Lawyer: A fellow who is willing to go out and spend your last cent to prove he’s right.

Definitions Lawyers

Put your monkey where your mouth is.

Malaprops Money

Taking over the reigns of leadership.

Malaprops

Expert: A man from another city, and the farther away that city is, the greater the expert.

Definitions

It's as American as killing two birds with one apple pie.

Mixed metaphors

Inside every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out.

Books Communication

A day without sunshine is like… well, night.

Situations Time

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

Some people hear voices; some see invisible people; others have no imagination whatsoever.

Intelligence Mind Situations