Author: Anonymous Page 13

Learned Fool: One who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

Definitions Intelligence

I'm not the kind of person who wears his heart up his sleeve.

Malaprops

Yacht: A floating debt.

Definitions

Interior Decorator: A man who does things to your house he wouldn’t dream of doing to his own.

Definitions Occupations

Business Lunch: Lunch.

Definitions Food/Drink

College: A fountain of knowledge where students gather to drink.

Definitions Education School

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

“I’ve joined the Airborne Medical Corps,” said Tom paradoxically.

Tom Swifties

All's well that ends.

Mixed metaphors

Kleenex: Your daily nose-paper.

Definitions

Let's do this in one foul sweep.

Malaprops

“Consult an investment broker,” was Tom’s stock answer.

Tom Swifties

Their relationship was purely plutonic.

Malaprops Relationships

Group Therapy: A drama-in-the-round staged for the entertainment of a professional therapist, who commands the players to put on a new show each week and charges them for the privilege.

Definitions

Booby Trap: A brassiere.

Definitions

I disagree with unanimity.

Beliefs Opinion

Hobby: Something you do to have fun whether you enjoy it or not.

Activities Definitions

“This pencil tip is dull,” she said pointedly.

Tom Swifties

Delayed Payment: A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Definitions Money

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Cat bathing is a martial art.

Animals Cats