Author: Anonymous Page 18

Donuts: The only non-negotiable element to a successful meeting.

Definitions

Madam: Someone for whom the belles toil.

Definitions Occupations

“Who left the toilet seat down?” Tom asked peevishly.

Tom Swifties

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens, and everybody disagrees later on.

Definitions

I looked to see what I could hear.

Mixed metaphors

War is hell on wheels.

Mixed metaphors

Make money and the whole nation will conspire to call you a gentleman.

Characteristics Money

Tougher than a boiled owl.

Expressions

Sarcasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn’t get it.

Communication Definitions

“I'll have a martini,” said Tom, dryly.

Tom Swifties

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Insults Intelligence

Skeleton: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

Body Definitions

“Everything Albert says is so obvious”, said Tom altruistically.

Tom Swifties

Science Fiction: Fairy tales for nerds.

Communication Definitions Science/Weather

You are wise behind your ears.

Mixed metaphors

Amateur: One who is always willing to give you the benefit of his inexperience

People

Slang: Language that takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work.

Communication Definitions Language

Long road to hoe

Malaprops

Experience: Something you don’t get until just after you needed it.

Definitions

“I’ve deduced that this is the right way,” said Tom pathologically.

Tom Swifties

Taxpayer: One who doesn’t have to pass a civil service exam to work for the government.

Definitions Government Taxes Work