Author: Anonymous Page 19

Crash courses for driver’s learner permits.

Mixed metaphors

When all is said and done, more is said than done.

Communication Speech

Man blames most accidents on fate – but feels a more personal responsibility when he makes a hole-in-one on the golf course.

Golf Sports

I wouldn’t eat that with a ten-foot pole.

Mixed metaphors

I’ll be on him like a wild dog on a ham.

Expressions

Bureaucrat: A Democrat who holds an office that a Republican wants.

Definitions Government Politicians

Flying saucers are just an optical conclusion.

Malaprops

Travel Brochure: A trip teaser.

Definitions

Sex is natural, but not if it's done right.

Sex

Happier than a pig in slop

Emotions Expressions Happiness

Job: A place where you work just hard enough to avoid getting fired while getting paid just enough to avoid quitting.

Definitions Work

Mixed Company: What you are in when you think of a story you can’t tell there.

Definitions People

“Watch this insect sail through the air,” said Tom flippantly.

Tom Swifties

Honeymoon: A short period of doting between dating and debting.

Definitions Marriage

“The door’s ajar,” said Tom openly.

Tom Swifties

Imagination: What puts men in asylums unless they are crazy enough to put it down on paper or canvas.

Definitions

Congress: A strange forum where people get up and speak, nobody listens, and then everyone disagrees at the top of their lungs.

Congress Definitions Government

Parking Space: An unfilled opening in an unending line of cars near an unapproachable fire hydrant.

Definitions

It's like pulling hen's teeth.

Mixed metaphors

He could sell socks to a rooster.

Communication Expressions

Dictatorship: A place where public opinion can’t even be expressed privately.

Definitions Government