Author: Anonymous Page 3

“This is the wrong tree,” Tom barked, as he climbed up.

Tom Swifties

Dust: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Definitions

You could take that guy with a grain a salt.

Mixed metaphors

Why spend astronomical amounts on so-called scientific research to go to another planet?

Mixed metaphors

Delegate-At-Large: A man at a convention whose wife didn’t accompany him.

Definitions

Zoo: A place where humans go and animals are barred.

Animals Definitions

Troops: Expendable bodies sent by the government to stop bullets during obscure foreign uprisings.

Definitions Military

I feel like death eatin’ a soda cracker.

Expressions Health

Stomach: A bowl-shaped cavity containing the organs of indigestion.

Body Definitions

Antipathy: The sentiment inspired by one’s friend’s friend.

Definitions

I'd like to be a fish on the wall at that meeting.

Mixed metaphors

Courtesy: The art of yawning with your mouth closed.

Dating Definitions Relationships

He's grinning like a possum eating a persimmon.

Appearance Expressions

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Murphy’s Laws Situations

Geologist: Fault finder.

Definitions Wordplay

“Aha! Here’s someone who can’t speak!” exclaimed Tom dumbfoundedly.

Tom Swifties

“Why do I have to strip naked again?” asked Tom rebuffingly.

Tom Swifties

“I have to check the score on this exam again,” Tom remarked.

Tom Swifties

“The optician probably doesn’t have my glasses ready yet,” Tom speculated.

Tom Swifties

Fairway: The well-kept and seldom used portion of a golf course.

Definitions Golf Sports

Boss: A person who comes early to see who comes late.

Definitions Work